Embracing the Empty Nest on Mother's Day: A New Chapter for Midlife Moms

Mother’s Day: a celebration of love, nurturing, and the complex journey of motherhood.

For many, it’s a day filled with handmade cards, brunches, and family gatherings. But for some of us embracing midlife and adjusting to an empty nest, Mother’s Day can stir a mix of emotions. With the children grown and sometimes flown, this day might feel different—perhaps quieter and a touch bittersweet. Yet this new phase, I believe it also opens a beautiful space for growth, rediscovery, and celebration in new, profound ways.

The Silence of an Empty Nest

The first Mother's Day with an empty nest can feel like an echo in a once bustling home. Where did the years go with kiddos coming in with a tray of breakfast in bed for you?   It’s natural to feel a sense of loss or nostalgia for those days when your kids were just a shout away and you were praying for time to use the bathroom alone or take a yoga class or afternoon nap. However, this silence isn’t an absence; it's an invitation to tune into yourself, to rediscover desires and dreams that might have been placed on hold.

Rediscovering Yourself

Midlife is a perfect time for rediscovery. With more free time on your hands, Mother’s Day can become a moment to celebrate not just your role as a mother, but also your individual passions and aspirations. Why not start a tradition that focuses on self-care or a new hobby? Perhaps there’s a class you’ve always wanted to take or a project you’ve been eager to start. This day could mark the beginning of a yearly tradition that celebrates your growth as both a mother and an individual. Growing up on the East coast, we spent Mother’s Day planting and refreshing the garden for my mother.  It was a tradition to mulch the garden beds and assemble the hanging flower baskets my mom loved to have across our porch.  It’s a yearly tradition that I’ve continued with my family and it’s a perfect time to head outside and renew the garden and is a fun activity with your partner or solo.

Connecting in New Ways

Just because the nest is empty doesn’t mean the connections with your children wane— they simply evolve. Technology today makes it easier than ever to stay connected regardless of the miles. A Zoom or Facetime video call, a series of texts, or sharing photos and updates can make you feel close and connected even if you're not physically together. Alternatively, planning a visit or a vacation together can turn this new chapter into an exciting adventure that redefines your relationship with your adult children. For me, I’ve always found that having something to look forward to is the best way to move through something new like an empty nest Mother’s Day – so a planned trip or future visit with my boys, even a small one, can give me something to focus on rather than just one day.

Giving Back

Another beautiful way to mark Mother’s Day is to extend your nurturing spirit beyond your home. Volunteering for causes that resonate with you or helping in community activities can be incredibly fulfilling. It’s also a lovely way to connect with other people who might be navigating similar transitions. The act of giving not only helps others but is profoundly rewarding and reaffirms your value and purpose outside of direct motherhood.

Celebrating Other Mothers

Remember, you are part of a vast network of mothers—each experiencing this journey in their unique way. Reach out to other moms, especially those who might be going through their first Mother’s Day with an empty nest. Share your experiences, offer support, and celebrate together with brunch, a hike or pickleball. Whether it’s a friend, a sibling, or a community member, connecting with other mothers can reinforce a shared bond and offer mutual comfort and joy.

Embracing Change and New Traditions

As midlife women, we are no strangers to change. It’s really what this phase in life is all about! We’ve learned that with each ending comes a new beginning—rich with possibilities. Mother’s Day with an empty nest is not a reminder of what has passed but an opportunity to embrace what lies ahead. It's a chance to celebrate the enduring and evolving essence of motherhood and personal growth and new time to spend with a spouse or partner.

This Mother’s Day, I encourage you to start a new tradition that celebrates this new phase. Whether it’s treating yourself to a spa day, taking a short trip, immersing yourself in a good book with no interruptions, or simply enjoying the peaceful moments of solitude with a cup of tea in the garden, let it be something that fills you with joy and peace.  And if you’re curious, I’m embracing change as  a new empty nester – I’m heading to a fraternity mother’s weekend at the University of Oregon – something I never thought I would be doing and but really looking forward to.

As you celebrate this Mother’s Day, remember that you are still very much a mother—only now, you have the added privilege of nurturing yourself with as much love and dedication as you have given your children. Here’s to new beginnings and to a Mother’s Day filled with self-love and new adventures!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible midlife moms out there!

Ellen